East Coast Grad Student Chic

It is fully winter here in the DC area, so I thought I might break down how one dresses for the cold like a hip East Coast grad student.
Predominant color is black
Pigtails because you've slept in the past few days and haven't washed your hair.
Scarf to kept out blistering chills.
Hat to cover said grease ball head, with poms for hilarity (on top of head and at the end ear strings).
Black glasses because you're an intellectual.
Sneer because you look down at the uneducated.
Fingerless gloves with mitten fold back so that you can stay warm but also grab your metro card out of your back pocket.
Smile because you realize this is your last fall semester of graduate school EVER!
You name this pimple "final project".
And this one "job search". Also, look try to look like 5 year old boy in closeups.